Friday, June 30, 2006

Bunch a Bike-Ridin' Dopers

Dear gawd, the worst news I could possibly hear one day before the start of the Tour is that Jan and Ivan are out of the race due to doping allegations, along with possibly 50 other implicated riders.

Doping has always been an issue in cycling. There have been a fair share of true violators. But there have also been plenty of aggregiously false doping allegations perpetrated by the very people whose job it is to protect the sport from this BS.

If the investigation into these Spanish docs and their clients has been going on for 6 months, why are we suddenly banning riders the day before the Prologue? It stinks of sensationalism.

If Jan, Ivan, and company did dope, well, I guess they'll get what they deserve. Even if vindicated though, at this point the damage has been done. What a shame.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Race to Replace

From The Paceline:

Race with Team Discovery Channel for a Day. Really.

You heard right. As a part of Discovery Channel’s Race to Replace, we are inviting you and other cyclists to race with Lance on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. All you have to do is sign up. The fastest rider will earn a spot on the Discovery Channel Pro Cycling Team during an actual one-day race at the U.S. Pro Championships in Greenville, South Carolina. Net proceeds from the race event will be donated to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. To get your chance, go to

In my last criterium race - through no fault of anyone but myself - I clipped my pedal on the pavement in a tight turn and went down. I'm an idiot. If I were to sign up for this the results could be disastrous. Seriously, I could end some careers. The way I ride George Hincapie could lose an eye.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Matt Awesome, An American Standard

Just learned a buddy from back east might move to Seattle.

Matt Awesome has a blog on which he proves that he is not only smarter than you (philosophically speaking), but funnier, and way more skilled at Photoshop.

Friday, June 02, 2006

666 - National Day of Slayer - 666

Celebrate a day of (ir)reverance on June 6, 2006, the National Day of Slayer.

From the site:

Official Statement on Participation

- Listen to Slayer at full blast in your car.
- Listen to Slayer at full blast in your home.
- Listen to Slayer at full blast at your place of employment.
- Listen to Slayer at full blast in any public place you prefer.
DO NOT use headphones! The objective of this day is for everyone within earshot to understand that it is the National Day of Slayer. National holidays in America aren't just about celebrating; they're about forcing it upon non-participants.

Taking that participation to a problematic level

- Stage a "Slay-out." Don't go to work. Listen to Slayer.
- Have a huge block party that clogs up a street in your neighborhood. Blast Slayer albums all evening. Get police cruisers and helicopters on the scene. Finish with a full-scale riot.
- Spray paint Slayer logos on churches, synagogues, or cemeteries.
- Play Slayer covers with your own band (since 99% of your riffs are stolen from Slayer anyway).
- Kill the neighbor's dog and blame it on Slayer.

NDoS recommends Reign in Blood, but I've always been rather partial to Season in the Abyss. You can't argue with the video for that song. Slayer running around in the desert. Arab dudes and mysterious rituals and whatnot. Torches.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

American Idol the Way It Should Be

Lordi, a Gwar-esque rock band from Finland, recently took top prize at the Eurovision Song Contest - the show that's been pitting European nations against each other American Idol style since 1956.

From The Advertiser:

FINNISH rockers Lordi has won the 2006 Eurovision Song Contest - a stunning upset in a competition better known for bland dance music and bubble-gum pop.

The cartoon metalheads, who sport latex monster masks and spark-spewing instruments, fought off a strong challenge from Russian heartthrob Dima Bilan to take the 51st annual music prize.


The Finns, who scandalised some compatriots when their song Hard Rock Hallelujah was chosen to represent the Nordic nation, was the surprise hit of the competition.


Lordi beat an unusually eclectic 24-nation field on Saturday, which ranged from the bubble-gum pop of Danish teenager Sidsel Ben Semmane and Malta's Fabrizio Faniello to the balladry of Ireland's Brian Kennedy.