Friday, December 30, 2005

Bestiality: Top Seattle Times News Article of 2005

From the Seattle Times:

By tallying clicks on our Web site, we now chart the most read stories in the online edition of The Seattle Times. Software then sorts the tens of thousands of stories for 2005 and ranks them. Not by importance, impact or poetic lyricism, but by which stories compelled the most people to put finger to mouse, click, open and, presumably, read.

Which brings me back to sex with horses. The story last summer about the man who died from a perforated colon while having sex with a horse in Enumclaw was by far the year's most read article.

UPDATE: Wow, we're on BoingBoing! Thanks, Xeni, you're the best!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Katamari Damacy

This video game and it's pure joy. I actually feel cute when I play it.

If this were D&D, my Charisma would be +2.

But then, whilst rolling around bobbing to sugary j-poppy tunes, my tiny katamari picks up some chopsticks and it starts hobbling along all lopsided. Dammit!

Dexterity: -1

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Civil Partnerships in England

I know it could go without saying, but I am elated to see this.

Here's to America catching up with the other forward thinkers of the world.

NYC Police Undercover at Public Gatherings

Undercover NYPD officers are joining various public gatherings for surveillance purposes.

Clearly, memorial bike rides are a threat to national security.

How often can a government body cite "terrorism" in such cases before the people start to associate the word more with the trangressions and stupidity of our own government rather than with an actual threat? Not many.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Code Words from the GEG

The recent restraining order issued against David Letterman for his alleged coded messaging and remote manipulation of this Santa Fe woman reminds me of a crazy college roommate I had for a couple of months. Let's call him Derf.

We shared a tiny basement apartment located next to a bar and we could easily hear sidewalk conversations. Apparently, my roommate thought these people were speaking to him in code, and by doing so attempting to recruit him for a gay espionage group. Yes, a Gay Espionage Group.

This all came out one day when I overheard a phone conversation. Derf called the police because he had overslept and missed a class. The obvious explanation: he had been gassed in his sleep by insidious espionage agents. This group had been following him for years carrying out a plot to recruit him into their ranks. Only by fleeing from city to city had he been able to resist them. Well, apparently they found him and were communicating to him via seemingly normal conversations on the street.

So, "Dude, let's go and get a bee-ah" could actually mean, "Derf, we want you to trade top secret info for some man-man intimacy."

When I asked how this all began (big mistake, btw) Derf explained that it started when he first went to college (he was much older than me) and he had a conversation with a classmate, "much like you and I are having this converstion", he would say over and over. He went on to tell me that he learned espionage secrets could be traded for gay sexual favors. Uh, okie dokie. I think I'm starting to get the picture.

Long story short, I become suspect number one for the gassing incident after I started making arrangements to move the hell out. A disconcerting surprise awaited me when I talk to the housing office about my problem. It went something like:

Me: So, this guy won't stop talking about this espionage group and how they're out to get him. It's freaking me out.
Housing Guy: Do you live with Derf?
Me: Yes....
HG: Yeah, we've been watching him for some time now.

Gee, thanks for volunteering me as guinea pig in the GEG whacko crackdown, I'm thinking. I'll take a single occupancy room on campus, please.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Keytar to My Heart

This site's worth wasting 30 seconds or so on.

Never before have I heard such sounds come from a keytar ... except those that came bundled with my $20 Casio.

This topic arose today at lunch when my co-worker had no idea what a hair band was. For shame.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

HipHop in My Heart

Last night the fair lady and I had tix to see MF Doom. We arrived to discover that the show had been rescheduled for next month.

My disappointment was noticable. I decided to retaliate by pounding my fists on the bar and crying until they gave me back my Doom. When this didn't work, I began vowing to be very mean to all of humanity until they coughed up the Doom. Luckily, I was stopped mid curse when RA Scion jumped onto stage.

I am a confessed hiphop noob. I strongly dislike 98% of what I hear through mainstream media - I'm looking at you Fifty. I love Del, Doom, and some stragglers, but beyond that I'm not only ignorant, but also without much direction.

Scion grabbed me immediately, and I stood motionless with a stupid grin on my face for the rest of his set. I couldn't even bob my head; I was fascinated.

On the way home, after having bought a CD and picking up a free poster (which is now on my bathroom wall, b/c I'm a nerd), I blabbed on about Scion's flow and how, to me, it wasn't the usual spitting out some ridiculous lyrics about tough-guy poo-poo.

J's reaction was something like, "Oh my god, I love that you just said 'spitting'!"

Me too. I've gone from hiphop noob to hiphop nubile. I want more.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Exactly what I need for Xmas

This will go perfectly in our living room.

So, far the price is reasonable. Wonder what shipping's gonna be like.

J, we're gonna need to get rid of the couches.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

"I'll be taking these Huggies, and whatever cash you've got in the register..."